Animal Joke

How Dogs Compare to Man
How Dogs and Man are the Same Both take up too much space on the bed Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning Both are threatened by their own kind Both mark their territory Both are bad at asking you questions Neither tells you what is bothering them The smaller ones tend to be more nervous Neither does dishes Neither of them notice when you get your hair done Both like dominance games Both are suspicious of the postman Neither know how to talk on the phone Neither understands what you see in cats How Dogs are Better Than Man Dogs do not have a problem expressing affection in public Dogs miss you when you are gone Dogs feel guilty when they have done something wrong Dogs don't criticize your friends Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out Dogs don't play games with you - except fetch (and they never laugh at the way you throw) Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence You can train a dog Dogs are easy to buy for You are never suspicious of a dog's dreams Dogs understand what NO means Dogs understand if some of their friends can't come inside Middle aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner Dogs admit it when they're lost Dogs are color blind Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more money than they do Dogs mean it when they kiss you Where Men are Better Than Dogs Men only have two feet that track in mud Men can buy you presents Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block Men are a little bit more subtle Men don't hike their leg to pee on every post they pass Men don't eat turds on the sly Dogs have dog breath all the time Men can do math Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it



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